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The Will Durst Journal
The Week of November 26, 2015
The Vault
Will sits among stacks of Newspapers
Off-site Archives
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The Huffington Post
Cagle Cartoons
SF Gate
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Succotash Podcast
* * * If You Dare…
Donation Packages
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$10 level • Fan
$10 Level: Warning CD
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$25 level • Sponser
you can't make stuff like this up
Warning! $25 Level: 2 CDs
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$50 level • Patron
First Ammendment Hat
you can't make stuff like this up
$50 Level: 2 CDs and a Jester Hat
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$100 level • Family
Raging Moderate
Zippo Lighter
Cassette Tape
First Ammendment Hat
you can't make stuff like this up
Warning! $100 Level: 3 CDs Cassette Tape, Jester Hat, Zippo Lighter
Work History
Corporate Clients
Alameda Contra Costa Medical Association
Thank you for your marvelous presentation at our Annual Meeting. You sent our physician members and spouses virtually rolling in the aisles. Your humorous barbs hit both major political parties with equal vigor, giving everyone in the room an opportunity to laugh regardless of political persuasion.
— Donald Waters, Executive Director
Alameda-Contra Costa Medical Assoc.
Apple Computers
Assoc. of Defense Counsels of N. CA & NV
Assoc. of American Editorial Cartoonists
On behalf of the Association of American Editorial Cartoonists, I want to thank you for coming to our convention and throwing a perfect game. You were witty, topical, perceptive, professional, creative, daring and edgy — everything my own work isn't.
— Steve Benson, President
Assoc. of American Editorial Cartoonists
Bank of America
Bend, Oregon Chamber of Commerce
Big Brothers Big Sisters
Building Construction Trades Association
Burlingame Chamber of Commerce
California Alliance for Jobs
California Municipal Utilities Association
California Independent Petroleum Association
California State Universities Systems
California Federation of Teachers
California Refuse Removal Council
California Nurses Association
California Business Roundtable
California Newspaper Publishers Association
On behalf of the members of the California Newspaper Publishers Association, thank you for participating in CNPA's 112th Annual Convention ...Our installation luncheon received the highest ratings ever. Comments included: ‘Bring him back!’ ‘Bring him back, please!’‘A scream!’ ‘Top-notch!’
— Diane Donahue, Exec. Meeting Mngr.
California Newspaper Publishers Assoc.
Cartoon Art Museum
Checkpoint Software
Community Services & Volunteers Department
I want to personally thank you for speaking to the delegates and guests at the Texas AFL-CIO Constitutional Convention on Friday… I heard nothing but rave reviews from the delegates about your speech … People told me you had them laughing out of their seats, literally.
— Rosa Walker, Director
Community Services & Volunteers Dept.
Contra Costa County Bar Association
Creativity Explored
Crowell & Moring
We would like to take this opportunity to thank you for your participation in the 18th Annual CSU Biotechnology Symposium. The reviews we have received from the over 600 participants have been overwhelmingly positive.
— Kathleen L. McGuire, Exec. Director
Data Control FBI Academy
Fremont Bank
Harrahs HIPP PAC
Hayward, CA Chamber of Commerce
Home Builders Association
I would like to personally extend my gratitude for a wonderful evening of entertainment at the annual Marketing and Merchandising Excellence Awards. With witty humor you were the perfect fit as our host. We had nothing but raves about our master of ceremonies.
— Jeanne Pearl, Events Director
Home Builders Association
International Petroleum Association
International Society of Barristers
Our members are still laughing/crying over your verbalization of what is going on in Washington and the world. We would be laughing more if your words weren’t based on the damn facts.
— Edward J. Matonich
International Society of Barristers
Internment Association of California
JP Morgan Investments
Just Harvest
LA County Federation of Labor
League of California Cities
Manna Allison
Marquette University
Morgan Stanley Dean Witter
National Kidney Foundation
National Employment Lawyers Association
Nevada State Cable Telecom Association
Nevada Press Association
New York Insurance Association
Northern California Grantmakers Association
Ohio Chamber of Commerce
Operating Engineers #3
Pennsylvania Senior Action Gala
People for the American Way Foundation
Pleasanton, CA Chamber of Commerce
What a great evening! Not only did you provide some of the best comedy I have ever heard, but your professionalism allowed you to deliver it after being delayed for 45 minutes. Your patience and understanding were appreciated almost as much as your talent.
— Ben Tarver, Mayor
The City of Pleasanton
Points of Light Foundation
Project Censored
Rabobanc International
Relocation Information Service
Rosemont, Illinois Mayors Dinner
The Ryness Company
Safeway Inc.
S.Jose Silicon Valley Chamber of Commerce
San Francisco Yacht Club
San Jose Law Foundation
Santa Rosa Chamber of Commerce
Every person who responded gave Will Durst “outstanding” marks. “Will Durst was hilarious” and “Durst rocks.” Will was very flexible in accommodating us after the San Diego fires first caused the cancellation of this event. We highly recommend Durst as a guest speaker and look forward to utilizing his talents at future events.
— Mark Haarer, Director
Sierra Nevada Brewery
Smith Fairfield, Inc.
We've received dozens of letters and calls from guests who said that the Presidential Primary Gala Dinner was the best Washington, D.C. event they have ever attended. You are the reason for our success.
— Jennifer K. Smith,President
Smith Fairfield, Inc.
Sprinkler Fitters Local 483
St. Helena Chamber of Commerce
Stockton Financial Center Credit Union
Thanks for providing such an awesome performance… I received many letters and compliments from members on our choice of entertainment. You.
— Michael P. Duffy, President/CEO
Stockton Financial Center Credit Union
Sun Microsystems
Teamsters National
Texas Freedom Network
Texas Association of Broadcasting
Vivo Ventures
Washington State Labor Council
Western Association of Chamber Executives
Never in my 21-plus years of being involved in this association have I seen a group respond so favorably to a speaker.
— Dave Kilby, President/CEO
Western Assoc. of Chamber Executives
Western Lodging Association
Western Pension & Benefits Association
Western States Petroleum Association
Wisconsin ACLU
Wisconsin Libraries Association
Wisconsin Broadcasting Association
Wisconsin Citizens Action League
Wisconsin Community Fund
Wyatt, Tarrant & Combs. And more.

108 Jobs
  1. Actor, Stage And Screen
  2. Advertising Copywriter,
    Cerveza Panama Campaign, SF
  3. Agricultural Marketer, Indiana- Wisconsin
  4. Assistant Manager, Pizza Hut,
    Hwy 100 West Allis
  5. Assistant Manager, Radio Shack,
    Downtown Waukesha
  6. Audience Wrangler,
    Jerry Lewis Telethon, Milwaukee
  7. Babysitter
  8. Backstage Manager,
    Summerfest Comedy Stage, Milwaukee
  9. Bartender At Supper Club,
    Hurley, Wisconsin
  10. Bartender, Century Hall, Milwaukee
  11. Bellman, Milwaukee Athletic Club
  12. Bicycle Messenger, SF (1 Day)
  13. Breakfast Chef, Last Texas Cafe B & B,
    Amsterdam, Netherlands
  14. Bus Boy, Dante's Sea Catch, Pier 39
  15. Cab Driver, Milwaukee (1 Day)
  16. Camp Counselor,
    Pelican Lake, Wisconsin
  17. Cartoonist/Illustrator,
    Peters-Bell Agency, Milwaukee
  18. Ceta Video Documentarian,
    Doojie Aces, Milwaukee
  19. Children's Xmas Show Playwright,
    "Nasty Norman," Gimbel's
  20. Clerk, Administration Building, Uwm
  21. Clerk, B. Dalton's Book Store,
    Brookfield Square
  22. Clerk, Chess King
    Southridge Mall, Greenfield
  23. Clerk, Alexander's Stationary, Hollywood
  24. Clerk, Adult Book Store,
    Waukesha (1 Week)
  25. Clown Shill, Amsterdam (1 Day)
  26. Co-Owner/ General Flunky,
    Crummies' Sandwich Shoppe, Waukesha
  27. Co-Producer, Work Documentary, "Livelyhood," PBS
  28. Coffee Boy, All You Can Eat Pancakes,
    Wisconsin State Fair
  29. Comedian, Various
  30. Comedy Club Owner, Holy City Zoo, SF
  31. Corn Roaster, Wisconsin State Fair
  32. Delivery Boy, Drug Store, Waukesha
  33. Desk Clerk, Milwaukee Athletic Club
  34. Dishwasher, Bright Angel Lodge,
    Grand Canyon
  35. Dishwasher, Smith's Bakery, Seattle
  36. Ditch Digger, Wisconsin Highway Department, Waukesha
  37. DJ, WUWW
  38. Dock Attendant,
    Johnson Controls, Milwaukee
  39. Door-To-Door Soap Salesman,
    Milwaukee (1 Day)
  40. Dorm Cafeteria Assistant,
    University Wisconsin Milwaukee
  41. Drama Teacher, 7th Grade,
    Martin Luther King Jr. High, Milwaukee
  42. Electronics Wirer, Waukesha
  43. Electrician's Assistant,
    Bessemer, Michigan
  44. File Clerk, Western Steamship, SF
  45. Foam Factory, Waukesha (3 Days)
  46. Fork Lift Driver, Aqua Chem, Milwaukee
  47. Hay Bailer, Burlington
  48. Horse Washer, Eagle Cave Stables, Richland Center, Wisconsin
  49. House Painter, Bessemer, Michigan
  50. Humor Columnist, Bugle American, National Lampoon, SF Examiner
  51. Ice Cream Man, Waukesha County
  52. Janitor, Employee Dorms, Grand Canyon
  53. Lemonade Stand,
    Westward Ho Subdivision, New Berlin, WI
  54. Line Man, Burger Chef Waukesha
  55. Lunch Cart Driver, Waukesha
  56. Liquor Store Stockman,
    Liquors Milwaukee
  57. Magazine Editor, Manslaughter
  58. Mall Maintenance, Brookfield Square
  59. Margerine Smuggler, Wisconsin-Illinois
  60. Mold Cracker, Grede Foundry, Waukesha
  61. Movie Reviewer, Uwm Post
  62. Mover,
    Starving Artists Movers, Milwaukee
  63. Nastar Race Starter,
    Indianhead Ski Resort, Upper Michigan
  64. Newspaper Wrapper, Richland Center
  65. Oyster Shucker (1 Day)
  66. Parking Lot Attendant, West Allis
  67. Pedicab (Rickshaw) Driver, SF Wharf
  68. Pinsetter,
    Capitol Lanes, West Allis (1 Day)
  69. Pirate, Long John Silver's,
    Prospect Mall, Milwaukee (1 Day)
  70. Postal Clerk, Waukesha
  71. Poster Maker, Milwaukee
  72. Powdered Graphite Sprayer,
    Milwaukee Tool & Die
  73. Prop Master, Second Greatest Entertainer In The World,
    Metropole Theater, Milwaukee
  74. Publicist, Better Than A Sharp Stick In The Eye, Milwaukee
  75. Quality Control, Sony, San Diego
  76. Receptionist,
    Butterfly Temporary Services
  77. Ronald Mcdonald, Fox River Valley
  78. Roofer, The Abbey Ski Lodge, Bessemer, Michigan
  79. Santa Claus In A Ghost Mall,
    Southtown, South Milwaukee
  80. Shipping Receiving Clerk,
    Allis Chalmers, West Allis
  81. Shoe Salesman,
    JC Penneys, Downtown Waukesha
  82. Singer, Ornjj, New Berlin
  83. Singer/ Dancer, Kids From Wisconsin
  84. Sod Farm Attendant, New Berlin
  85. Squeeze Molder,
    International Harvester, Waukesha
  86. Stamping Machine Operator, Aqua Chem
  87. Talk Show Host, CBS Radio New York City & ABC San Francisco
  88. Technical Writer, San Diego (1 Day)
  89. Telephone Solicitor, Milwaukee (1 Day)
  90. Theater Director, The Effect Of Gamma Rays Upon Man In The Moon Marigolds
  91. Theatrical Producer
  92. Tomato, Winterfest Parade(1 Day)
  93. Tour Guide, Eagle Cave,
    Richland Center, Wisconsin
  94. Truck Driver, Plaster Of Paris Molds, Chicago & Points East & South
  95. Usher,
    Oriental Movie Theater, Milwaukee
  96. Valet, Milwaukee Athletic Club
  97. Warehouseman, Jc Penneys West Allis
  98. Will The Cosmic Waiter,
    Century Hall, Milwaukee
  99. Wisconsin State Highway Construction G-29
  100. Yardwork,
    New Berlin, Waukesha, Milwaukee
Burst of Durst Podcasts
* * *
In which our intrepid correspondent…
…pays tribute to the proud perspicacity of the plucky pilgrims in a pacific paean to our peculiar propensity for plumpish poultry.
…goes off the politically correct deep end to kvetch about political expediency.
…asks the old Seinfeld question “who are these people?”
…welcomes the circus back to town.
…gives equal spleen time to the battling democrats.
…gives the new controversial trade pact his inimitable smart ass spin.
…takes issue with Michael Douglas’s most famous line. Except for saying “No” to Kathleen Turner in Romancing the Stone.
…finds the funny in the thicket of Republicans. #thick
…calls in a bunch of favors to bring you up to date hot scoops.
…whines about his biological clock being stuck on elementary school time.
…gets a little listy.
…bemoans the current state of politics where the apprentices rule.
WSJ Hedcut
Durst Case Scenarios