Acknowledged by peers and press alike as one of the premier political satirists in the country, Will Durst has patched together a comedy quilt of a career, weaving together columns, books, radio and television commentaries, acting, voice overs and most especially, stand up comedy, into a hilarious patchwork of outraged and outrageous common sense. His abiding motto is “You can’t make stuff up like this." The New York Times calls him "possibly the best political comic in the country." Fox News agrees "he's a great political satirist," while the Oregonian hails him as a “hilarious stand-up journalist.” This former radio talk host, oyster shucker, and margarine smuggler currently writes a nationally syndicated humor column, and his scribblings have appeared in Esquire, George, the San Francisco Chronicle, National Lampoon, The New York Times and scads of other periodicals.
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Durst Case Scenario • 7.21.15
For all those bemoaning the lack of noise in the Republican presidential sweepstakes it’s time to get down on our knees and give thanks to Donald Trump because whatever that man touches turns to loud. He’s the gift that keeps on blaring. Has all the delicate innuendo of concrete curtain rods. Not just a loose cannon, more like a loose aircraft carrier.
To say the campaign of the self-appointed captain of the S.S. Birther got off to a rocky start is like intimating that transatlantic telecommunications cables make substandard dental floss. Critics derided the guy who tried to trademark the phrase “you’re fired!” for hiring extras to pretend to be supporters at his announcement, but another way of looking at it is… he’s already creating jobs.
At the beginning of a diatribe where the word “I,” or “I’ve” or “I’m” was used 244 times and that doesn’t include “me,” or “we” or “us,” the billionaire real estate developer trotted out some bizarre illegal immigrant harangue, accusing the Mexican government of sending drug-crazed rapists across the border. Demonstrating why veteran politicians often employ scriptwriters and utilize teleprompters: so they don’t stick their foot so deep into their mouths they can tickle their spleen with their shoelaces.
And the price The Donald paid for his bout of verbal incontinence was shooting straight to the top of Republican polls. Sure, he and some of his brands were dropped by a couple of lily-livered corporations like Univision, Farouk Systems, NASCAR, Serta, the PGA, Televisa, NBC Universal & Macy’s. But not all is lost; rumors abound that both Animal Planet and SyFy are interested in producing a mini-series about his hair.
Conservative conspiracy theorists accuse Trump of being a Democratic mole whose subversive goal is to make them look like intolerant cretins. But they’re the ones who spent the last 45 years crocheting the ass hat; can’t be surprised when some idiot picks it off the shelf and waltzes around in it.
Coming to a Theatre near you! Will Durst’s acclaimed tribute to the history, growth, joys, achievements, frustrations, fashions and looming doom of the Baby Boom Generation. Ably assisted by his trusty overhead projector, Durst explores the Boomers’ revolutions, evolutions and still vibrant role in today’s youth-obsessed society, which they invented, for crum’s sake. It’s a celebration of the maturation of the Boomer Nation and as an extra, added, special treat- the Meaning of Life.
Special Note: Due to the graphic nature and startlingly archaic technology, children under the age of 40 will not
be admitted unless accompanied by a guardian or bring a note.
We apologize for any inconvenience.